i dwell in the yud threshold

i dwell in the yud threshold, 2021, charcoal on paper

This drawing is a greyscale self portrait depicting me reclining in a binder and boxers, with a distance of waves behind. On the right side of the drawing there is a floating Yud threshold casting a shadow on my leg.


As a genderfluid trans person I dwell in indeterminate thresholds. I cast shadows which are spells that signify many possibilities of futures. In Jewish tradition twilight is the most spiritual time of day because it is neither day or night, and somehow both at the same time. The Yud is a letter which also acts as an in-between, a connection making meaning between arrangements of letters. This Yud mirrors the shape of a doorway’s threshold, invoking the in-between & the mutability of my trans nonbinary existence.

I do not fit in with societal ideas of what androgyny looks like & I still struggle with unlearning this.

Non-binary can look like any body.
Genderfluid can look like any body.
Androgyny can look like any body.
Trans people do not have to look or think the way that many cis people might want us to.

I determine my self, with my own hand.